To be clear. I am not talking about someone who is 100% guilty or someone who is challenging the police with a gun or a weapon. I am not talking about mistaken identity, accidental discharge, or profiling.
I am talking about little Johnny whose had a problem since childhood and the parents did absolutely nothing to correct, curb, solve or resolve his behavior. This is aimed at parents who shift the blame on everybody except for themselves.
Today’s Short Story
Little Entitled Johnny Gets Shot
So Little Johnny, AKA boo boo from the hood, was born to parents who did not give a freckle about Johnny. Mama was more worried about getting her hair and nails ‘did’ than Johnny’s education. Pops was more worried about his bent car fender on his jalopy than the reports Johnny’s teacher was sending home.
- Teacher tells Johnny’s parents that he’s out of control in the classroom. Parents yell at the teacher.
- Principal suspends Johnny for bullying, causing distractions in class and explicit language to the janitor. Parents yell at the Principal.
- School counselor states to Johnny’s parents that Johnny needs help mentally. Refers them to a certified counselor to get Johnny help. Parents cuss out the counselor.
- Johnny fails a grade and his peers move on without him. Parents cuss out the school.
- Johnny drops out of school and turns to a life of crime and gets shot. Parents cuss out the police and threaten to sue the city. They say he’s a good boy.
Whose fault is it that Johnny got shot?
How many missed opportunities did Johnny’s parents have over the last 15 or 16 years to correct or address the problem to ensure that Johnny would be a successful citizen?
I know this sounds harsh but the tears these mothers shed after the fact could have been avoided if they had paid attention before the fact.
Question: What about the parents or single mothers who have tried with their kids and just can’t get through to them no matter what they do? What if the mother has reached out to everybody she can think of and the child just insists on continuing to do the wrong thing?
Answer: Someone did ask these questions directly to me. I am not a professional nor do I claim to be. I have seen mothers in this situation. They have resorted to boot camp, having their child arrested, and in one case taking their child to DFCS as an attempt to show the child that if the behavior continues that you will not be in my house any longer. These tactics seemed to have worked on those kids. It gave the kids something to think about and made them re-evaluate consequences and actions.
Question: What about the single or widowed parent, mom or dad, who has to work three jobs and tries to balance work time with kid time and just can’t make it work. Should that parent be blamed for their child getting shot due to neglect?
Answer: There are 2 answers to this.
A woman I no longer associate with had a son and a daughter. She was a single parent. She worked three jobs to make ends meet. To make up for her not being able to spend time with her kids she worked the third job to give them things. She honestly thought that giving them things would take the place of her not being there. She never mentioned the father. She finally save up enough to take off from all three jobs to take the kids on a vacation. She found out that the daughter was prostituting because she felt she didn’t have enough things. The son was arrested for drug dealing. The money she saved up went to bailing her son out and court dates and counseling to find out what was wrong with the daughter. The kids finally said, “Mom we just wanted you. Not things.” She half way understood what they were saying but then shifted the blame on to the absent father. Stating that if he was there she wouldn’t have to work so hard. She went back to working her three jobs and the kids went back to what they were doing. The son got shot and daughter ended up with three kids. In this case the mother is to blame.
A woman who is not to blame is the single mother who worked two full-time jobs and could not make any of the parent teacher meetings or her daughters school events. To counter act this the mother called the teacher twice a week and explained her situation. She and teacher met on her lunch or during the teachers planning hour so she could help her daughter pass all the courses. When her daughter was not doing sports she was catching the bus to the mother’s workplace and staying there until it was time to go home. When the mother could not attend the school events she had a relative attend in her place and take pictures or a video so the mother could watch it later and congratulate her child on a performance well done. Even though the mother was working two jobs she found a way to balance work and her daughter so that she spent enough quality time with her. He daughter never got ‘things’ she had her mother. The daughter turned out well and went to college with her mother’s support.
What is my point for posting this?
- The police cannot be blamed for bad parenting
- If people would raise their kids the police wouldn’t have to
- We should have a law to hold parents responsible for failed or bad parenting because other people’s brats affect us all
- Put the blame where it lies, squarely on the family that failed to raise someone properly
- This line no longer works, “My parents raised me like that so I’m raising my kids the same way” Just because your parents did it wrong doesn’t mean its right. If you see your child getting in trouble frequently then the strategy you are using obviously isn’t working.
- The police should have a right to start suing parents who fail to raise their kids and give law enforcement a hard time
- Schools should have a right to kick a kid out after three times of parents not listening or trying to improve or help their kid
- This line should never be accepted, “I didn’t know she was doing these things. Nobody ever told me.” That’s a big fat huge lie. The parents always know they just don’t want to deal with it. In cases where their child is hurting others the parent should go to jail and serve just as much time because it started with them.