Part 2 Section A
Black children should not be victims of ‘hazing’ as a right of passage for being born black.
Unaddressed mental illness in the black community
Definition of Child Abuse: when the punishment does not fit the crime.
Example. Susie receives a ‘black eye’ because she asked for a ‘cookie’.
Definition of beating: a punishment or assault in which the victim is hit repeatedly:
Definition of hit: bring one’s hand or a tool or weapon into contact with (someone or something) quickly and forcefully: strike, slap, smack, spank, cuff, … more
• cause harm or distress to:
• an instance of striking or being struck: blow, thump, punch, knock, bang
• an instance of striking the target aimed at:
Definition of repeatedly: over and over again; constantly: synonyms: frequently, often, again and again, over and over (again), time and (time) again,
Definition of punishment: 1. the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense: “crime demands just punishment” synonyms: penalizing, punishing, disciplining, retribution, retributive justice, … more
Definition of assault: 1. a violent physical or verbal attackb
2. 2 law a : a threat or attempt to inflict offensive physical contact or bodily harm on a that puts the person in immediate danger of or in apprehension of such harm or contact — compare battery 1bb : rape 2
Some people do not know the true definition of “a beating”. A beating is not discipline. A beating is abuse.
Instigators of child abuse in the black community
Section A Church
Section B Grandparents
Section C Tradition
Section D Acceptance
Section E Parental drug use
Section F Media
How does the black church promote child abuse and discourage mental help?
What happens when child reports abuse to the church?
Tomika is 15 and her brother Will are 7. Tomika is being physically and sexually abused by her father and Will is being mentally and verbally abused by their mother. Tomika has been labeled as a trouble maker at church and school and she is a bully to the neighborhood kids. She’s been suspended several times and has been arrested for stealing.
Will is a target of bullying at church and school. He cries a lot and often sits off by himself in a corner and won’t associate with any of the kids because he’s afraid of being bullied again. Both kids are depressed and full of anger. Tomika is in an acting out phase while Will is in a withdrawal phase.
The pastor and other church members have no psychology degree and do not recognize these signs, therefore, Will has been labeled as shy while Tomika has been labeled as unruly.
Tomika confides in the pastor at church and the following happens:
1. She is not believed because her father is the head deacon of the church
2. Honor your father and mother says Jesus
3. I got beat too when I was a kid
4. You shouldn’t have done it and you won’t get hit
5. You don’t seem to learn so they have to beat you
6. That’s the only way black kids learn is through a beating
7. So what. Grow up.
8. Stop the whining and toughen up you’re too soft and sensitive
9. Everybody gets hit why should you be any different
10. If they didn’t love you they wouldn’t beat you
11. Be good and act right and you won’t get beat. Now shut up and get out of my face.
12. They are not there to be your friend. They are there to be your parent
13. I got beat when I was a child and I turned out fine
14. Pray about it and God will fix it
Notice that the authorities were never called to make any kind of an official report for the kids.
Tomika was shamed by the church with the pastor justifying what happened to Tomika based on his own limited experience.
The situation was not investigated and Tomika’s allegations were taken as a light joke.
After getting nowhere with Christians Tomika and Will continue to be abused by the parents. Tomika gets expelled from school. Upon being expelled the principal asks what is the problem. Tomika tells him the truth. The following happens between her and principal.
1. She is not believed (This is the number 1 complaint from abused children)
2. “You are a brat and deserved every beating you got”
3. “Why didn’t you call the police. If it was that bad you would have done that. You didn’t so therefore you are lying” (Being called a liar is the number 2 complaint from abused children)
4. Her parents are upstanding citizens in the community and “your lies are too damaging”
5. Told that she is just mad about chores or something and she’s making these lies up and she needs to stop (If an adult feels a teen or child is making up lies like this then the adult needs to seek help and find out why the child would lie like this)
6. The principal says he was beat too as a child and now he’s a good person because of it
7. Maybe she should go to church and talk to the pastor about it
8. “Do you have any proof?”
9. “A little discipline never hurt anybody”
10. “Act right and you won’t get hit”
Tomika screams at the top of her lungs that she was raped. The principal does not believe her and simply responds by saying.
“Do what your parents say and you won’t get into trouble! And stop these lies!”
Again Tomika is shamed and her abuse is downplayed by someone else’s limited experience. Tomika still does not get the help she needs to be removed from that situation.
Tomika is told to return home which places her back into the hands of the abuser that she’s trying to escape. Tomika decides to run away from home.
The parents filed a missing persons report and learned that Tomika had told the church what happened. The parents denied the allegations and turned their anger on to younger brother Will. Will was warned with a sound beating not to tell anyone what happened to his sister or what was happening to him. Will turned from being bullied to being the bully. Will has now been labeled a trouble maker by the church and school. Will has been told he’s following in the steps of his wayward lying sister.
Will and Tomika’s parents have mental problems that have not been addressed. The people who raised these two more than likely have them too. The parents learned from the grandparents that abusing the children is the correct thing to do. Generational abuse is never questioned and it should be.
The grandparents are invited over as reinforcements to make sure that Will doesn’t “Air Family Laundry” like his sister did to the church. The Grandparents sit back and instigate while the parents physically manhandle Will.
Will goes to school and tells his principal what happened to his sister and him. His principal calls the police and files the report against the parents. Will is removed from the home and the parents charged.
The parents say “I was just doing what was done to me” and “I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong” and “The kids are lying” and “Kids need discipline. That’s what I thought I was doing”
The grandparents, the Pastor and Tomika’s principal face no charges either even though they had information and did not report as they received it. The grandparents joined in with the abuse and Will reported it but still no charges are filed because it was up to the parents to stop the grandparents from abusing Will.
Grandparents are treated as a third party because they are not the initial guardian for the child.
The police find Tomika at some man’s house and bring her in for questioning. Tomika breaks down and tells them that she informed the church and the school and they called her a liar. When asked why she didn’t call the police Tomika says she was scared. She had been threatened. She went to the church and school hoping they would call. She was afraid if her father found out she called she would be killed. The church and the school failed her.
Biblical View of Children
During Biblical times children were seen as property much like the women. A man could do anything he wanted to including killing them and nothing was said because he owned them. Children had no rights and were treated like chattel. Children could be bought and sold in a minutes notice.
Applying a 2000 year old text to 2017 and demanding that children adhere to antiquated rules of being ‘property’ is not only delusional but also purposely misleading.
Honor your father and mother was aimed at property.
How is the black church promoting child abuse?
Black churches are still under that “Children are seen not heard” rule. If a child is making noise or anything of the sort then he/she is to shut it up.
Children making allegations of abuse against parents in the church are seen as demon ridden or satan has got a hold of him/her and they need to be prayed for to stop the lies.
The church does the following if a child makes an allegation.
1. Quoting Bible verses instead of calling the authorities when a child confesses to an someone in the church
2. Using the bible verse spare the rod spoil the child
3. Choosing tithes over saving abused children in the church
4. If the abuser is the pastor, assistant pastor, deacon, or some high person in the church they side with that person so the church doesn’t have a black eye in the media
5. Following the tradition in the black community of excessive abuse over absolutely nothing.
Example: 5 year old David sneezes during prayer and receives a punch in the stomach.
In the black community pastors hold power, prestige, and are honored. They receive gifts and are praised. It is thought he was called by God personally to preach. He is closer to God then everybody else and can speak to him directly and get faster answers. He’s supposed to be smarter and is looked up to. By default he’s supposed to have more because he is personally blessed by the hand of God himself. Therefore, fancy cars and big houses are not questioned. To become a pastor means you will have wealth in a matter of months.
What the pastor says goes because he has absolute authority over the church. To debate, question, or quiz him on any subject is seen as disrespectful, out of line and you need to conform, reform, straighten up and fly right or else find a new church because this isn’t working out.
The wife is always ten times worse than him. The pastor’s kids are the worst behaved bunch in the congregation.
The stupid saying on that is “The pastor is so close to God that Satan has to use pastors kids to get to him”
No. They are spoiled brats and nobody ever says no to them so they act up as they please. If anybody says no to them or reports them for bad behavior it’s not taken seriously because the pastors kids have the highest ranking in the church. They have no boundaries up or down.
It is traditionally acceptable in the black community to abuse children.
Using Bible verses to condone or justify hitting or beating a child is a horrible idea. Children in the Bible were seen as property, slave workers, and in general got no respect except for one verse.
6 “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.
I would love to see this for child abusers.
The black church encourages abuse of children in the church by hiding behind the Bible with the following Bible verses:
Proverbs 13:24 -Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. (This is the number 1 verse used to abuse a child)
Proverbs 19:18-Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.
Proverbs 22:15-Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.
Proverbs 23:13-[ Saying 13 ] Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.
Proverbs 29:15-A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.
Proverbs 29:17-Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.
Ephesians 6:2 -“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise
Exodus 20:12 -“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
Proverbs 22:15-Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.
Proverbs 19:18 -Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
Proverbs 22:6 -Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 23:13-14 -Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. (Sheol is from the Torah. It is a hot place underground where the soul goes to purify before the next step)
Colossians 3:20 -Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
The Church’s Responsibility
The church legally has no responsibility to do anything if a child reports abuse. I think they should. Most black churches are not equipped with therapists and do not have any rules in place for children complaining of abuse. The child is not listened to and labeled a liar or “Satan got a hold of him”
Child abuse is not the church’s main focus. Saving souls and collecting tithes is the church’s main focus.
But here’s my question.
How can black churches promote saving souls when the smallest souls are ignored?
Saving a soul should not mean just making sure you get to heaven after meeting a quota for tithes. A child’s soul can be saved by reporting abuse to the police and getting immediate help for that child. No child should have to live in an abusive situation and be forced to keep a secret like that all because the pastor doesn’t know what to do when he’s faced with a child that’s been violated by your favorite church member.
What is it going to take to get through to these black churches that children are just as important as tithes??