Behind The Curtain – Child Abuse In The Black Community Section C and D

Part 2 Section C & D

Unaddressed mental illness in the black community

Definition of Child Abuse: when the punishment does not fit the crime.
Example. Susie receives a ‘black eye’ because she asked for a ‘cookie’.
Definition of beating: a punishment or assault in which the victim is hit repeatedly:
Definition of hit: bring one’s hand or a tool or weapon into contact with (someone or something) quickly and forcefully: strike, slap, smack, spank, cuff, … more
• cause harm or distress to:
• an instance of striking or being struck: blow, thump, punch, knock, bang
• an instance of striking the target aimed at:
Definition of repeatedly: over and over again; constantly: synonyms: frequently, often, again and again, over and over (again), time and (time) again,
Definition of punishment:1. the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense: “crime demands just punishment” synonyms: penalizing, punishing, disciplining, retribution, retributive justice,
Definition of assault: 1. a violent physical or verbal attackb
2. 2 law a : a threat or attempt to inflict offensive physical contact or bodily harm on a that puts the person in immediate danger of or in apprehension of such harm or contact — compare battery 1bb : rape 2

Instigators of child abuse in the black community
A Church
B Grandparents
C Tradition
D Acceptance
E Parental drug use
F Media

Cultural, Tradition, and Acceptance

It is widely accepted in the black community that children are to be seen and not heard. Children are to be beat and told not to cry. Children are to be disciplined swift, hard, and quickly. Why is this?

1. We are told that this comes from slavery
2. We are told that what the slaves went through is far worse than anything now so we have nothing to cry about
3. We are told if I don’t beat you now the police will do it later so it’s a necessary evil that I get you straight now
4. It’s what is expected and if you don’t beat your kids then you are ‘acting white’
5. Mental illness is not recognized, thought about or even an option. If the child is suffering from an undiagnosed mental illness and the parent decides to beat the child to make him act right, then this is a recipe for certain disaster
6. It’s not just physical abuse on black children. Mental, verbal, and spiritual abuse comes with it.
7. After the abuse gets out of hand and a parent is in jail the first words out of their mouth is “I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong.” or “I was just doing what was done to me. I didn’t know anything else.”

Just because it was done to you doesn’t make it right. For those of you who think you turned out fine I’m here to tell you that you didn’t. You are continuing and reinforcing hurt and harm to innocent children all in the name of tradition.

These following statements are culturally accepted in the black community and should not be:

1. I got beat too when I was a kid.

What is the definition of beat? Black eyes? Blood drawn? Broken bones? Death? Is this kind of beating on a child okay with you?

2. Those bruises will heal.

This is cruel.

3. You shouldn’t have done it.

Maybe nothing was done! Maybe the child simply asked for school supplies.

4. They had to beat you otherwise you won’t learn.

Learn what? How to duck and dodge? How to take it like a G? How to apply make up for black eyes?

5. That’s the only way black kids learn is through a beating.

This comes straight from slavery out of the slave master’s mouth and he’s still talking in 2017. Shut the slave master up by not repeating these words.

6. So what. Grow up.

This is just hurtful, awful, and unless you know the situation you need to shut up.

7. Stop the whining and toughen up you’re too soft and sensitive.

Really? Only an insensitive self serving jerk would make an awful statement such as this to a child that’s been beaten, raped and possibly tied up in a basement.

8. Everybody gets hit why should you be any different.

Hit? This statement is an awful thing to say to anybody. Not all children need to be hit.

9. (my all time favorite) If they didn’t love you they wouldn’t beat you.

Again. Define the meaning of beat. Its okay for a child to be taken to a hospital with internal injuries from a beating. Its okay for a child to die from internal injuries to the heart or lungs because she wet the bed? This is done out of love?

10. Be good and act right and you won’t get beat. Now shut up and get out of my face.

Just cruel, evil, disrespectful, awful, and anybody who says this to a child needs a head check and deserves the worst of every aspect in their life.

11. I’m not here to be my child’s friend. I’m here to be a parent!

Then be a parent! A real parent strives to improve the child not break him down to the point where he’s hanging himself in a closet. A parent and an abuser are two different things. A parent finds ways to work through the situation without placing hands on the child in a bullish disrespectful manner.

12. I didn’t know I was doing anything wrong.

Really? You are in a court room with a lawyer, judge, jury, court tv cameras and DFCS is at the table across from you. And you seriously didn’t know beating a child senseless would lead to this?

14. Fear equals respect. I have to instill fear in my child otherwise he/she won’t respect me.

No fear equals hate. Your child hates you and will eventually run away and rightfully so. Whoever told you that lie should be charged right along with you for being stupid enough to make a statement such as this.

15. I got beat when I was a child and I turned out fine.

No you didn’t. You continued the abuse on to your child and grandchild and at some point this abuse will backfire badly. You may not get the immediate effects but your children will.

The above statements are heard every single day by several black children of parents who either just don’t know any better or just don’t care. 

If a child has a mental condition such as Asperger’s, or some other autism, and the parent does not recognize the signs that the child may have a problem, then the child hears one or more of these statements above.

“He’s just bad! He’s a bad child!”

No child is bad. A behavioral problem in a child is due to a few factors.

1. Environment such as abuse.

2. A mental disorder that has gone unchecked

3. A perfectly normal child responding badly to a parent who is not in his or her right mind

4. Outside stress not coming from within the house.

It should not be acceptable in any community to “Haze” a child as if its a right of passage to be black. Parents who whip, beat and stomp their children in the name of love are not showing love. They teach the child mistrust and how to hate. Why and how are the two being confused?


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August 5, 2017 · 6:00 am

Behind The Curtain – Grandparents and Child Abuse

Part 2 Section B

Unaddressed mental illness in the black community

Definition of Child Abuse: when the punishment does not fit the crime.
Example. Susie receives a ‘black eye’ because she asked for a ‘cookie’.
Definition of beating: a punishment or assault in which the victim is hit repeatedly:
Difinition of hit: bring one’s hand or a tool or weapon into contact with (someone or something) quickly and forcefully: strike, slap, smack, spank, cuff, … more
• cause harm or distress to:
• an instance of striking or being struck: blow, thump, punch, knock, bang
• an instance of striking the target aimed at:
Definition of repeatedly: over and over again; constantly: synonyms: frequently, often, again and again, over and over (again), time and (time) again,
Definition of punishment: 1. the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense: “crime demands just punishment” synonyms: penalizing, punishing, disciplining, retribution, retributive justice,
Definition of assault: 1. a violent physical or verbal attackb
2. 2 law a : a threat or attempt to inflict offensive physical contact or bodily harm on a that puts the person in immediate danger of or in apprehension of such harm or contact — compare battery 1bb : rape 2

Instigators of child abuse in the black community

A Church
B Grandparents
C Tradition
D Acceptance
E Parental drug use
F Media


Grandparents are the second major group to instigate child abuse. Whether the abuse is handed down through the way they raised the parents or the grandparents doing it themselves.

Currently Grandparents are not legally held responsible for anything pertaining to the abuse of their grand children even if they knew about it. The reason for this is they are considered a third party. They should be just as responsible and share the sentence with their kids for any found abuse on grandchildren including death.

Why should grandparents be held responsible?

Three sentences should hold them in criminal intent immediately:

When an abusive parent makes these statements pertaining to how they were raised it should automatically incriminate the grandparents. 

1. “I was just doing what was done to me”
2. “I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong”
3. “That’s how I was taught to discipline.”

The grandparents taught them that behavior, if not instigated it, and now a child is hurt.

Where did the parent learn it from?

Any time a child is abused the grandparent should share the blame and take half of the jail sentence if for the following reasons:

1. They raised their own kids to abuse and now their grandchildren are being abused
2. Grandparents always know there is abuse going on and 9 times out of 10 they do not report it. Not reporting abuse in some states is a crime. That crime should double if it’s the grandparent who does not report this
4. If at anytime a child states that the grandparent knew all about it and never did anything to help there should be automatic 30 days in jail for the grandparent in addition to being charged in conjunction with the crime.

Where is the line drawn between discipline and abuse?

Definition of discipline: punishment, instruction, a field of study, training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character, control gained by enforcing obedience or order b : orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior

Definition of abuse: a corrupt practice or custom, improper or excessive use or treatment, : language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily, physical maltreatment

Which one of these girls is disciplined and which one is abused?

Jill was clearly abused. Sadly, some people think that Jill was lightly punished or not punished enough. Even more sad people see this happening to Jill and don’t do anything and don’t speak up.

The reasons people say they don’t speak up is:

1. It’s none of their business
2. They can’t tell somebody else how to parent
3. They don’t know the whole situation
4. They don’t see anything wrong with what happened to Jill
5. Jill’s behavior was seen as bad


Only after a child dies do people speak up with what they saw. But that’s too late! Say something when its happening.

DFCS and Social Workers

According to DFCS and Social workers physical marks must be visible before they can do anything. Mental and verbal abuse do not count in a court of law for child abuse because it can’t be physically proven.

Physical abuse definition = excessive harm, physical harm, or death.

Mental and verbal abuse are far more damaging than physical abuse. The scars from mental abuse can last many years to a life time. Being of the receiving end of verbal abuse is never fun nor is verbal abuse to a child acceptable at any time.

What is the intent for hitting the child?

Is it to hurt?
Teach them a lesson?
Show off for your friends?
Public humiliation to teach them the wrong doing?
Beat them now so the police won’t do it later?
To make them cry?
To Bully?

When is a good reason to hit or “beat” a child?

You’ve told 3 year old Glenda 3 times not to jump on the bed. Should Glenda get a sound beating?

5 year old Robbie has a pair of scissors and is sticking it in the light socket. Do you hit Robbie?

16 year old Tina has cut school again with her friends and she’s smoking. Do you smack Tina around?

15 year old Jerry failed a math test. Do you beat him senseless or meet with the math teacher to find out the problem?


Is it just for kids or do parents have them too?

Violence Against Children Act of 2011

Each state has its own child abuse laws. Most states leave it up to the parents. Senator Barbara Boxer in California tried to introduce a nationwide bill that would unify violence against children. It fell dead in Congress.


Because a group of dummies decided that states should handle this and not the federal government. In this case they couldn’t be more wrong. I would love to see this bill come back with a few modifications.

I would like for it to include that if a child discloses the abuse to any adult and the adult does nothing about it that the adult gets at least 30 days in jail for failing to protect a child.

I would like for it so also include that churches should lose their 501c3 status if they fail to protect an abused child in their church who has reported.

And any school officials or police officers who did not report the abuse of the child or make a report should be immediately fired and never hold that position again anywhere else in America.

How important are our kids to us?



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August 2, 2017 · 6:00 am

Behind The Curtain 2 – Child Abuse and How The Black Church Promotes It

Part 2 Section A

Black children should not be victims of ‘hazing’ as a right of passage for being born black.

Unaddressed mental illness in the black community

Definition of Child Abuse: when the punishment does not fit the crime.

Example. Susie receives a ‘black eye’ because she asked for a ‘cookie’.


Definition of beating: a punishment or assault in which the victim is hit repeatedly:

Definition of hit:  bring one’s hand or a tool or weapon into contact with (someone or something) quickly and forcefully: strike, slap, smack, spank, cuff, … more
• cause harm or distress to:
• an instance of striking or being struck: blow, thump, punch, knock, bang
• an instance of striking the target aimed at:

Definition of repeatedly:  over and over again; constantly: synonyms: frequently, often, again and again, over and over (again), time and (time) again,

Definition of punishment:  1. the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense: “crime demands just punishment” synonyms: penalizing, punishing, disciplining, retribution, retributive justice, … more

Definition of assault: 1. a violent physical or verbal attackb
2. 2 law a : a threat or attempt to inflict offensive physical contact or bodily harm on a that puts the person in immediate danger of or in apprehension of such harm or contact — compare battery 1bb : rape 2

Some people do not know the true definition of “a beating”. A beating is not discipline. A beating is abuse.

Instigators of child abuse in the black community

Section A Church
Section B Grandparents
Section C Tradition
Section D Acceptance
Section E Parental drug use
Section F Media

The Church

How does the black church promote child abuse and discourage mental help?

What happens when child reports abuse to the church?

Tomika is 15 and her brother Will are 7. Tomika is being physically and sexually abused by her father and Will is being mentally and verbally abused by their mother. Tomika has been labeled as a trouble maker at church and school and she is a bully to the neighborhood kids. She’s been suspended several times and has been arrested for stealing.

Will is a target of bullying at church and school. He cries a lot and often sits off by himself in a corner and won’t associate with any of the kids because he’s afraid of being bullied again. Both kids are depressed and full of anger. Tomika is in an acting out phase while Will is in a withdrawal phase.

The pastor and other church members have no psychology degree and do not recognize these signs, therefore, Will has been labeled as shy while Tomika has been labeled as unruly.

The Church

Tomika confides in the pastor at church and the following happens:
1. She is not believed because her father is the head deacon of the church
2. Honor your father and mother says Jesus
3. I got beat too when I was a kid
4. You shouldn’t have done it and you won’t get hit
5. You don’t seem to learn so they have to beat you
6. That’s the only way black kids learn is through a beating
7. So what. Grow up.
8. Stop the whining and toughen up you’re too soft and sensitive
9. Everybody gets hit why should you be any different
10. If they didn’t love you they wouldn’t beat you
11. Be good and act right and you won’t get beat. Now shut up and get out of my face.
12. They are not there to be your friend. They are there to be your parent
13. I got beat when I was a child and I turned out fine
14. Pray about it and God will fix it

Notice that the authorities were never called to make any kind of an official report for the kids.

Tomika was shamed by the church with the pastor justifying what happened to Tomika based on his own limited experience.

The situation was not investigated and Tomika’s allegations were taken as a light joke.

The School

After getting nowhere with Christians Tomika and Will continue to be abused by the parents. Tomika gets expelled from school. Upon being expelled the principal asks what is the problem. Tomika tells him the truth. The following happens between her and principal.

1. She is not believed (This is the number 1 complaint from abused children)
2. “You are a brat and deserved every beating you got”
3. “Why didn’t you call the police. If it was that bad you would have done that. You didn’t so therefore you are lying” (Being called a liar is the number 2 complaint from abused children)
4. Her parents are upstanding citizens in the community and “your lies are too damaging”
5. Told that she is just mad about chores or something and she’s making these lies up and she needs to stop (If an adult feels a teen or child is making up lies like this then the adult needs to seek help and find out why the child would lie like this)
6. The principal says he was beat too as a child and now he’s a good person because of it
7. Maybe she should go to church and talk to the pastor about it
8. “Do you have any proof?”
9. “A little discipline never hurt anybody”
10. “Act right and you won’t get hit”

Tomika screams at the top of her lungs that she was raped. The principal does not believe her and simply responds by saying.

“Do what your parents say and you won’t get into trouble! And stop these lies!”

Again Tomika is shamed and her abuse is downplayed by someone else’s limited experience. Tomika still does not get the help she needs to be removed from that situation.

The Runaway

Tomika is told to return home which places her back into the hands of the abuser that she’s trying to escape. Tomika decides to run away from home.

The parents filed a missing persons report and learned that Tomika had told the church what happened. The parents denied the allegations and turned their anger on to younger brother Will. Will was warned with a sound beating not to tell anyone what happened to his sister or what was happening to him. Will turned from being bullied to being the bully. Will has now been labeled a trouble maker by the church and school. Will has been told he’s following in the steps of his wayward lying sister.

Will and Tomika’s parents have mental problems that have not been addressed. The people who raised these two more than likely have them too. The parents learned from the grandparents that abusing the children is the correct thing to do. Generational abuse is never questioned and it should be.

The grandparents are invited over as reinforcements to make sure that Will doesn’t “Air Family Laundry” like his sister did to the church. The Grandparents sit back and instigate while the parents physically manhandle Will.

The Truth

Will goes to school and tells his principal what happened to his sister and him. His principal calls the police and files the report against the parents. Will is removed from the home and the parents charged.

The parents say “I was just doing what was done to me” and “I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong” and “The kids are lying” and Kids need discipline. That’s what I thought I was doing”

The grandparents, the Pastor and Tomika’s principal face no charges either even though they had information and did not report as they received it. The grandparents joined in with the abuse and Will reported it but still no charges are filed because it was up to the parents to stop the grandparents from abusing Will.

Grandparents are treated as a third party because they are not the initial guardian for the child.

The Finding

The police find Tomika at some man’s house and bring her in for questioning. Tomika breaks down and tells them that she informed the church and the school and they called her a liar. When asked why she didn’t call the police Tomika says she was scared. She had been threatened. She went to the church and school hoping they would call. She was afraid if her father found out she called she would be killed. The church and the school failed her.

Biblical View of Children

During Biblical times children were seen as property much like the women. A man could do anything he wanted to including killing them and nothing was said because he owned them. Children had no rights and were treated like chattel. Children could be bought and sold in a minutes notice.

Applying a 2000 year old text to 2017 and demanding that children adhere to antiquated rules of being ‘property’ is not only delusional but also purposely misleading.

Honor your father and mother was aimed at property.

How is the black church promoting child abuse?

Black churches are still under that “Children are seen not heard” rule. If a child is making noise or anything of the sort then he/she is to shut it up.

Children making allegations of abuse against parents in the church are seen as demon ridden or satan has got a hold of him/her and they need to be prayed for to stop the lies.

The church does the following if a child makes an allegation.

1. Quoting Bible verses instead of calling the authorities when a child confesses to an someone in the church
2. Using the bible verse spare the rod spoil the child
3. Choosing tithes over saving abused children in the church
4. If the abuser is the pastor, assistant pastor, deacon, or some high person in the church they side with that person so the church doesn’t have a black eye in the media
5. Following the tradition in the black community of excessive abuse over absolutely nothing.

Example: 5 year old David sneezes during prayer and receives a punch in the stomach.

In the black community pastors hold power, prestige, and are honored. They receive gifts and are praised. It is thought he was called by God personally to preach. He is closer to God then everybody else and can speak to him directly and get faster answers. He’s supposed to be smarter and is looked up to. By default he’s supposed to have more because he is personally blessed by the hand of God himself. Therefore, fancy cars and big houses are not questioned. To become a pastor means you will have wealth in a matter of months.

What the pastor says goes because he has absolute authority over the church. To debate, question, or quiz him on any subject is seen as disrespectful, out of line and you need to conform, reform, straighten up and fly right or else find a new church because this isn’t working out.

The wife is always ten times worse than him. The pastor’s kids are the worst behaved bunch in the congregation.

The stupid saying on that is “The pastor is so close to God that Satan has to use pastors kids to get to him”

No. They are spoiled brats and nobody ever says no to them so they act up as they please. If anybody says no to them or reports them for bad behavior it’s not taken seriously because the pastors kids have the highest ranking in the church. They have no boundaries up or down.

It is traditionally acceptable in the black community to abuse children.

Using Bible verses to condone or justify hitting or beating a child is a horrible idea. Children in the Bible were seen as property, slave workers, and in general got no respect except for one verse.

Matthew 18:6

6 “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

I would love to see this for child abusers.

The black church encourages abuse of children in the church by hiding behind the Bible with the following Bible verses:

Proverbs 13:24 -Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. (This is the number 1 verse used to abuse a child)

Proverbs 19:18-Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.

Proverbs 22:15-Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.

Proverbs 23:13-[ Saying 13 ] Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.

Proverbs 29:15-A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.

Proverbs 29:17-Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.

Ephesians 6:2 -“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise

Exodus 20:12 -“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

Proverbs 22:15-Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.
Proverbs 19:18 -Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.

Proverbs 22:6 -Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 23:13-14 -Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. (Sheol is from the Torah. It is a hot place underground where the soul goes to purify before the next step)

Colossians 3:20 -Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

The Church’s Responsibility

The church legally has no responsibility to do anything if a child reports abuse. I think they should. Most black churches are not equipped with therapists and do not have any rules in place for children complaining of abuse. The child is not listened to and labeled a liar or “Satan got a hold of him”

Child abuse is not the church’s main focus. Saving souls and collecting tithes is the church’s main focus.

But here’s my question.

How can black churches promote saving souls when the smallest souls are ignored?

Saving a soul should not mean just making sure you get to heaven after meeting a quota for tithes. A child’s soul can be saved by reporting abuse to the police and getting immediate help for that child. No child should have to live in an abusive situation and be forced to keep a secret like that all because the pastor doesn’t know what to do when he’s faced with a child that’s been violated by your favorite church member.

What is it going to take to get through to these black churches that children are just as important as tithes??

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July 31, 2017 · 6:00 am

Behind The Curtain – Belief Systems and the Black Church

This will eventually be a YouTube Series

Part 1

Mental Illness in the Black Community and why ‘help’ is not sought

The top 5 reasons black people do not go to therapy are as follows:

1. Part 1 The Church
2. Part 2 Attached Stigma
3. Part 3 Perceptions
4. Part 4 Family
5. Part 5 Finances

Part 1 The Church

The Black church is a business. A business needs money. Tithes bring in the money. If someone is attending church who feels overwhelmed, or feels as though they need additional mental help the black church discourages the member from receiving help by running a guilt trip using religion and the perceived punishment of Jesus as a shield.

This is how it works:
Sister Pam is the sole survivor of a car accident where her child, mother, and sister died. Sister Pam went to the triple funeral in a wheelchair and my never walk again. Sister Pam is having suicidal thoughts and survivors guilt. She’s also having flashbacks of the accident. She wants to go to a therapist but is urged against it by the church.


Here are the reasons:
1. She may stop attending church which means she won’t tithing which means the church will lost at least $1.
2. She’s supposed to trust in Jesus and pray about it and all the bad feelings will just go away upon mentioning Jesus name.
3. If she goes to therapy then she’s not trusting Jesus. If she can’t trust Jesus then she needs to find another church (finding another church is discouraged because they don’t want to lose members who may tithe. It is an empty threat.)
4. If Sister Pam is still feeling bad after a week then she’s not praying hard enough.
5. Satan has a hold of her and she must rebuke him. Satan is giving her the flashbacks.

Part 2 Attached Stigma

Sister Pam won’t go to therapy because of the stigma attached in the black community.
There are preconceived ideas, learned behavior, and flawed belief systems in the black community. Even if Sister Pam wants to go to therapy she will still resist because of her flawed belief system.

Seeking professional help in the black community is seen as the following:

1. Jesus won’t like it.
2. Therapy is for white people.
3. If you see a therapist that means you’re crazy. If people find out that you are crazy they will look down on you. Once that happens you are ostracized from the black community and labeled as ‘goofy’.
4. She believes in the preconceived idea that faith and love of Jesus is the only thing to stop her from suicide and help her recover from the sudden loss of her family and make her walk again.
5. She believes is she goes to therapy that she will be ‘acting white’ and will be shunned by the black community.
6. Her family and community programmed her to believe these things and if she detours from them then she is not the upstanding Christian they think she is and she will embarrass the church.
7. Discussing your feelings is a sign of weakness.
8. Satan wants her to turn against Jesus and the church by seeking professional help.

Part 3 & 4 Perceptions and Family

What does Sister Pam’s family say about Pam’s mental condition.
Sister Pam is angry. She keeps crying and asking “Why me Lord? Why me!” She may never be able to walk again but she doesn’t care about that. She does care about never seeing her child again, or be able to hug her mother or celebrate her sister’s birthday. Sister Pam has turned to drinking, cussing, and internet gambling. She is truly depressed and talks of ‘offing’ herself often. Her family agrees with the church.

Pam should do the following according to her family and the church:

1. Pray harder
2. Appreciate that she made it out alive
3. Trust Jesus
4. Do not go to counseling it will embarrass the family
5. Do not talk about therapist or seeking mental help from the white people because all they want is money
6. Her family doesn’t want people thinking she’s ‘crazy’
7. Sister Pam needs to just grow up
8. She’s not rebuking Satan hard enough he’s still rearing his head. She must crush him by claiming and forcefully yelling Jesus name.

Sister Pam buys a gun. She doesn’t like what she’s thinking. She goes to therapy anyway and decides that the family and the church are the ones who need get right with God and not her. She tells them she’s going no matter what they say.

This is what Sister Pam faces from her family for her decision:

1. She’s told that If there is family problem then the family is supposed to solve it. Not people outside the family.
2. She is told that she has made the problem worse and it wouldn’t be this bad had she not kept up the silliness.
3. She is the problem and everybody else in the family and church are doing the right thing by praying with the pastor
4. If she just prays hard enough the pain of losing the family will go away
5. She supposed to be strong for everybody else. She’s showing too much weakness by whining and crying all the time.
6. She is letting Satan control her. She has allowed Satan to bring her to this point of turning her back on Jesus with this therapist mess.

Part 5 Finances

How much of a role does finances play in seeking professional therapy in the black community?

A lot of black people have health insurance through their work place and a lot of black people don’t. The ones that do not have health insurance do not have the money to seek out therapist or other professional help. Therefore they don’t go.

The percentage of black people with health insurance that seek mental health is very very low. Therefore, finances are not the issue in the black community as a reason for not seeking help.

The belief system, perceived stigma, being called crazy, being made fun of, and told that you are ‘acting white’ is the deterrent for getting help.

Sister Pam received a large settlement from the insurance company that allowed her to pay for the help she needs. Again, the money is not the issue. She’d much rather have her family.

What does Sister Pam learn in therapy?

1. She finds out that flashbacks go along with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She finds out that the human brain seeks to make sense of things that don’t make sense.
The accident was not her fault and her brain has not fully comprehended that whole situation. Her brain is functioning the way a brain should function and sadly the flashbacks can continue for years. This has nothing to do with any Satan and prayer will not stop it. Working through therapy and working through the emotions of the accident and losing her family will help the flashbacks. Talking through the feelings will help her as well.
2. She finds out that the church is wrong and racist. Jesus will not be upset because she is taking care of herself physically and mentally. She is not acting white. The church has a picture of a white Jesus on the wall, therefore, they are hypocrites for saying somebody is acting white while worshipping a white Jesus.
3. Therapy is not just for white people and nobody is ‘crazy’ because they need a little extra help getting through a high stress unbearable situation that they did not ask for.
4. Prayer is great but it will not fix what she is going through. She needs extra help from a trained professional. If her church had read the Bible they missed Timothy 2 which clearly states that prayer without works is dead.
5. If her family is that offended that she is doing what she needs to do then maybe she needs to cut them and the church off. This is known as the ‘no contact’ method. She can return to them later if they have that much of an issue and wish to shame her on a daily basis for ‘acting white’.
6. She finds out that you cannot address ‘shame’ by using ‘shame’. Her family and the church continued to shame Sister Pam for natural normal feelings that any normal rational human being would have after going through any tragedy where people around her were killed, dying, or imminent death was approaching.
7. None of this is the act of Satan. It was a very unfortunate accident and she is justified in her human right to be sad and upset at losing family members.
8. She learns that her beliefs are flawed and she eventually feels she’s been lied to and kept in the dark about a bunch of things.

Sister Pam’s Anger at her family and the church

Sister Pam has gone through a range of emotions. She’s suffered a major car accident that placed her in a wheelchair. She had a total of 24 hours to adjust to a totally new way of life that she didn’t ask for. She had no warning on the loss of her family. The church she’s supposed to trust recites Bible verses and degrades her if she speaks of anything other than prayer. Her family is ignorant. She is now faced with changing the way she has thought for most of her life. It’s not easy.

What does Pam do?

Sister Pam does what any clear thinking individual would do in a situation as messed up as this. Quit going to that church. Tell the family the truth and take control of herself instead of them taking control of her. And continue going to the therapist until she reaches a level of acceptance of the situation that is comfortable for her. If the family insists on continuing to shame Pam she must leave and go to a facility where they are not allowed to visit unless they are there to help.

What is the family’s reaction?

1. Blame the therapist
2. Blame Satan for taking over Sister Pam
3. Blame white people. Why? There is no reason to blame white people. Its just a fail safe when no other option is available. White people are the built in fall guy after Satan has run out.
4. Pray for her to do the right thing and stop shaming the family
5. In long shot, come to the facility and help and do what she wants them to do. (They would never do this but its a nice thought)

The Black Church Can Really Mess Somebody Up

I made up that whole situation about Sister Pam. She does not exist in real life but I know plenty of Sister Pam’s in reality who have lost faith in the church for these very reasons. Some people have actually cut their family off all together because of the church and how the church acts.

The church uses shame against those who don’t fit the mold of ‘just pray about it’ or ‘trust Jesus and only Jesus’. Reciting Bible verses to answer a question is always a sign of being under fear. Fear of what? Who knows. Using shame to promote more shame is a vicious circle that a lot of black Christians fall into.

“You cannot solve problems with the same level of consciousness that created them.” David Icke Humans and Blinded by Belief Systems

Nobody asks or wants to be in a life threatening situation. Nor does anyone want to go through a horrid nightmare of suddenly losing those you love. The statement above clearly states that if God put you in that situation and you pray to God to take you out of the situation he just put you in- well…..that makes no sense does it.

Everybody has the right to take care of themselves mentally and physically how they see fit. If some people choose to pray about everything that is fine. If others choose therapy they should not be shamed, put down, demeaned, or treated poorly for their choice. However, that is what is happening in most black churches if someone chooses therapy instead of prayer. You can be a Christian and go to therapy.

There are enough therapists in America who are perfectly willing to promote time to a church and provide mental help for members who feel they need extra help. Promoting time means that nobody has to pay. A church should be about helping people how they need and want to be helped. Not the church forcing Bible verses on someone with the remedy of ‘Love Jesus and Rebuke Satan’.

How many black pastors have committed suicide after church? Or killed their family or other church members?

A church should never throw ‘shade’ or be that judgmental to the detriment of its members all in the name of tithes or Jesus.

Hiding behind the Bible or using religion to justify a flawed belief or thinking error that results in destroying someone else is wrong.

These black churches need to pull it together!

**This is not aimed at all black churches. It is aimed at most black churches. Especially the ones who feel that tithes are more important than the members and those churches who hide behind the Bible while promoting fear as a means of controlling members into self destruction**

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July 27, 2017 · 6:00 am

Behind The Curtain Blog Series – Ousting The Black Church

Over the next few weeks I will be rolling out the Behind The Curtain series of posts that will go through the end of August.

Behind the Curtain represents Black Churches and the shenanigans that go on in the pulpit. These Churches defy the Bible behind the backs of the trusting parishioners.

Metaphorically they’ve pulled a curtain to hide the truth much like the man in The Wizard Of Oz.

Therefore this series is appropriately named, ‘Behind The Curtain’

This is aimed at corrupt black churches who do any and everything for their own personal gain and who bank on ignorance in the pulpit and the congregation.

If your church is not doing these things then it does not pertain to you.

If you find yourself being offended or becoming upset about what I post about the black church, then, well……..maybe you better check yourself and your church.

I will be address how the Black Church encourages ‘hazing’ on black children through controlled child abuse. And how child abuse is seen as a right of passage because someone is born black. Its expected and accepted and never questioned no matter how damaging it is to the child.

I will also address how the Black Church discourages black people from seeking mental help and encourages unhealthy marriages while ignoring mental issues in the maraige.

I will also oust Black churches for manipulations of tithes, religious beliefs, as well as, spiritual abuse. I will expose cultish behavior including manipulation of fear, hell, and finances which are considered more important than saving souls.

I will also oust outrageous belief systems and how emotions are manipulated. Along with the misuse of Jesus, God, and twisting the Bible for thier own personal gain.

Why am I doing this?

Because the issues I just mentioned in the sentences above are ‘taboo’ in the black community. Nobody wants to address it head on or talk about how dangerous the black church is to the black community.

The Black Church will deny everything I say because I am telling their game.

Its easier to just go along with the flow and punish people like me who go against the grain with a different perspective. I’m labeled as a ‘non-believer’ because I dare to question the logic and the validity of these churches who rehash antiquated notions.

Everybody has the right to question what they are asked to support and believe in. Asking questions does not mean you are a non-believer. It just means you are taking the subject seriously instead of following tradition or following out of fear.

I will also address the Black Church blaming White people for no reason other than  they’ve run out of options to blame themselves.

I will back up what I say with Bible verses.

I will address and say everything I need to say without one word of profanity.

What is the point?

I have major issues with a non-profit 501c3 abusing their status and collecting money each week on false doctrines recited with fears and lies to a willing congregation who fails to question reality each Sunday. Plus, they don’t bother to read the Bible for themselves otherwise they would figure out they are being lied to.


Below are the 4 titles that I will be addressing in several detailed posts:

Behind the Curtain Part 1 – Belief Systems And The Black Church

Behind the Curtain Part 2 – Child Abuse And How The Black Church Promotes It

Behind the Curtain Part 3 – The Black Church Promoting Unhealthy Marriages

Behind the Curtain Part 4 – Religious Manipulation In The Black Church

What do I expect?

I expect to be attacked by black Christians because I am not only challenging their beliefs; I am flat out defying everything they’ve been taught by mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and the pastor.

I am not saying what they want to hear and they will have 1 of two reactions when everything is said and done.

  1. Attack me for not being a good black person.
  2. Start asking questions about the points I’ve brought up which will lead them to this question, “Well if what I’ve been taught is not accurate then what is accurate?”

I’m not out to plant seeds of doubt in anybody’s mind. I’m simple stating the obvious and ousting a truth that needs to be talked about instead of hidden behind a pulpit.

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July 24, 2017 · 6:00 am

Question. Are Tanning Booths Racist? Answer. No.

Q. What brought this question on?

A. There is a known full KKK participating card carrying member in Kentucky who we’ll call Mike.

Mike goes to the tanning booth. Mike also wears sheets and burns crosses.

Some people question Mike’s motives at the tanning booth.

If he’s going to the tanning booth for brown skin and then why is he participating in the Klan?

While Mike’s behavior seems confusing others associate this type of scenario with tanning booths being a form of racism.

Tanning booths are not racist nor are they a form of any racism

Here are the reasons why:

Black people go to the tanning booth. A particular black male in Alabama, who is Blue-Black,  goes to the tanning  booth in Birmingham. Everybody asked him why.

**Definition of Blue-Black: A Blue-Black person is a black person that has skin so black that in the sun he actually lights up blue.**

There is a black female that goes to the tanning booth. She’s not blue black but she is dark skinned enough where it does not make sense for her to go to the tanning booth.

Tanning has been going on for thousands of years. Before the Klan was invented. Before tanning booths were invented. Before Orange Presidents were invented. People world wide tanned either on purpose by laying out or by accident by working in the sun. Any skin in any sun for any amount of time is going to get darker or have some effect.

Black people do have sunburns and lighter skinned black people need to wear sunscreen for skin protection.

Why are black people going to the tanning booth?

The black male I spoke about faced major backlash from the black community for going to the tanning booth. The manager of the tanning booth had actually refused him at first. Her point was he was wasting time and resources on something he obviously didn’t need. He already had a big tan. His point was if he wanted to pay the same price as everybody else to go into the tanning booth then she should let him. What difference does it make to her as long as he’s paying money? She was labeled as a racist and he was labeled as an Uncle Tom Sell Out.

The short story on him was that he hated black people starting with his mother. He had a white girlfriend. He denounced everything black including his own obvious skin. This is what caused the backlash from the black community. In the end he got a lawyer involved who talked to the tanning booth manager to get her to agree to let him in. As silly as this sounds he went to the tanning bed to try and get a tan.

I know what you’re thinking. The answer to your question is, NO, he did not look any different when he emerged from the tanning bed it had no effect. He was still Blue-Black.


The black girl that went to the tanning booth felt she was too light skinned. Instead of sitting in the sun she wanted to go into the tanning booth. She paid her money and went in without any kind of drama. Eyebrows were raised and people did stare but nobody really said anything to her. And no, she didn’t look any different when she came out.

The moral of that story is that tanning booths have no effect on black people.

Now we come back to Mike the tanning KKK member

Does he have the right to tan? Yes!

Is it racist for him to tan? No!

Does it make any sense at all? Well that depends on who you ask.

A KKK member going to the tanning booth makes just as much sense as black people going to the tanning booth.

Both are illogical, and the behavior is odd, but it’s their personal choice and who are we to make it for them?

I won’t be going but hey, more power to them if it brings them happiness.

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April 5, 2017 · 8:00 am

Miscegenation and Anti Miscegenation Laws. What is this about?

What is Miscegenation? Look at these silly pictures right here.

From 1694 until 2000 there were laws in the US against interracial marriages.

These laws were called Anti-Miscegenation Laws

I first heard of this word last week in yahoo comments because folks were, again, mad at a commercial featuring a white male and black female and an adorable small black child.

I also learned that this ‘miscegenation’ (which I have no idea on how to even pronounce) is what the Klan and Altright people despise the most. They wake up and go to sleep honestly upset, disturbed and sometimes in tears over this.

Miscegenation means the mixing of different races by marriage, shacking up, and/or having light skinned babies.

But what kind of light skinned babies?

Native American + Black American? ….. nah. nobody cares.

Asian American + Black or Native American?…….nah. not a big deal.

Mexican American + Black, Native, or Asian American? ……..nope. Everybody is brown.

South Americans + Mexican, Native, Black, Asian, or African? ………move along folks. Nothing to see here.

White American + any Brown person? OH! We have a WINNER! This is what they go to bed mad about!

The Bible

The Bible says nothing one way or the other about different color skin people getting married. It does discourage the Jews from mixing with non Jews. And it does speak of not mixing with unbelievers. It does not exclusively say “A White person cannot marry a Black person”. There was no such thing as white and black during the writing of the Bible. It was Jew, Non Jew, Semite, Non Semine, Gentile, Non Gentile, and so on. I challenge anybody to show me the term ‘African American’ in the Bible.

Moses married an African woman Zipporah.

Ruth was black and her husband was Jewish.

Several women in the Bible who were not Jewish married Jewish people.

Jewish men in the Bible married everybody they wanted to.

The list is vast of people doing what they want in that Bible.


The Questions are

If a law had to be implemented in 1694, before the constitution was even written, then it stands to reason that a bunch of somebodies tried this very thing or actually followed through with it. Otherwise why was the law written?

For over 300 years the laws had to be written, re-written, stiffened and strict only to be repeatedly broken and challenged. People were killed, locked up, fined, kids removed, beaten, bruised, and went missing because of this law.

Several people challenged and won. Here are 2 famous cases.

1882 Pace Vs. Alabama. He was black and she was white

1967 Loving Vs. Virginia. He was white and she was black


This law was broken by several people every single day from when it was implemented in 1694 through 2000 when the law was finally dismantled. But guess what? People are still doing it!

Notable dates for public challenges to the law where somebody won are as follows:



1804 – That whole Thomas Jefferson fiasco with the ‘help’. Nobody challenged him because he was the President.










Why do people keep breaking and challenging these laws?

  1. Because the law was stupid in the first place?
  2. Because the color of skin should not determine who or how much you love somebody?
  3. Because a trust was built up between two human beings who lived in the same area?
  4. Because companionship was needed between two individuals?
  5. Because people want to love each other no matter what even if its breaking an antiquated law?

What has history proven for these kinds of laws?

History has proven that law or no law humanity always prevails with two things:




This law proved that both still exists with or without it.


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March 21, 2017 · 8:00 am

ObamaCare, Mental Illness, Abusing Jesus In Georgia


Mental Illness in the Black Community running rampant through these churches while using Jesus as a crutch and to gain $6000 a month for 260 bags of weave, 10 inch nails, and new cars all while collecting unemployment and using ObamaCare for hypochondriac episodes to bilk parishioners out of money.

The names have not been changed because VANESSA is not innocent.

Location: Lawrenceville Georiga

#1. The Act

Vanessa has memorized every single ailment known to man and has gone to over 500 doctors in the Atlanta Georgia Area putting on a show to gain surgery dates for unnecessary surgeries. She’s so convincing that the tests actually test high positives confirming that she has whatever it is for that day. She presents her ObamaCare Insurances and gets a date for the surgery and picks up her prescription pills for the pain and suffering until the surgery date.

#2. The Bilking

She calls herself a minister for her traveling church and collects money for Jesus yet she has not signed up for any 5013C and she pays no taxes on this so-called church. She goes as far as to have her husband push her into the rented space in a wheelchair hollering in pain. She preaches the word of the Lord and at the end tells of her upcoming surgery and begs for extra tithes and prayer. She nets around $5000 to $6000 a month after her performance.

#3. The Surgery

Every 6 months on schedule she has a surgery. Her church members crowd the waiting area praying and singing. When the surgery is done the doctor says they didn’t find anything wrong with her. But that’s not what she tells her congregation. She tells them that Jesus healed her moments before the surgery and that’s why the doctors didn’t find anything. It’s A Miracle!!! This is blatant abuse of Jesus.

#4. The Doctors

Several doctors have banned Vanessa around Atlanta and labeled her as a hypochondriac and a prescription pill abuser. She has also been banned from 2 pharmacies. But she tells her church members that Satan is afoot! The Devil is lie! The Enemy is sniffing up her tree! The Entity has arisen with 7 heads and worked on those doctors and pharmacies to ban her from needed medical help. They all agree and pray for the doctor’s wretched souls and give extra tithes to show the devil that HE can’t hold them down. The rebuke Satan when they need to be rebuking her.

#5. Alabama

All of the doctors in Atlanta have not banned against her because all of them have not dealt with her yet. However, she’s working her way through Birmingham Alabama with these fake illnesses. She gets her surgeries there and her church members drive her there praying and singing to the Lord all they way on Interstate 20 East!

#6. The Questioning Parishioners

A handful of church goers have been questioning her each year over the repeated surgeries and illnesses. This was an affront to God, Church, State, and an invitation to dance with the devil himself in the church basement. Those church members have been banned for hating Jesus and spreading negativity. The remaining church members chastised the questioners and chalked it up to nothing more than Satan questioning their faith and using those bad church members as a test of faith.

There are many many Vanessa’s in many churches but the black church takes the cake.

**Not all black churches are like this**

Yes there are legitimate people who are really ill attending church. The legitimate people usually do not publicize, make a spectacle of themselves, and over do their illness in this way. The legitimate people usually start a support group or a non profit to help others in their situation. 99.9% of the time they do not make it all about themselves like Vanessa does.

You can identify the Vanessa’s in church because they always publicize some doctors visit pending or have a 1 up during testimony.

1 Ups during testimony go like this:

Lady: I was in a car accident and my arm was broke!

Man: I was in a bus accident and broke both arms!

Second Lady: I was hit by a truck and my head fell off! Thank God they attached it back in the ambulance!

Second Man: I was hit by a piece of space junk from the Challenger and lost both legs! I got them back and now I can dance! (Do the holy dance here)

Third Lady: I sunk on a cruise ship to Jamaica and was eaten by a shark! Jesus came and got me out and I was back at church on that Sunday ushering!

Third Man: I fell off a cruise ship and was hit by another one in the water! Dolphins rescued me and took me to Miami! Jesus is Good!

The lies get more and more ridiculous while the Jesus Abuse continues

Church is supposed to be a place of safe worshiping where members look out for each other and help one another. Its not supposed to be all about me and give me money while I abuse Jesus. Yet, churches like Vanessa’s continue to prosper on false promises and lies.

Her church members consider it to be a miracle that she healed quickly and the doctors found nothing wrong with her. I like to believe that nothing was wrong with her in the first place and she’s just a big greedy liar preying on others religious beliefs for her own personal gain of wealth and fame.

People like her need to be exposed, removed, and charged with larceny of religion!

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March 13, 2017 · 8:00 am

Why are Black schools failing?

  1. All Black schools are not failing. Some Black schools are on target and the kids are learning.
  2. Some Black children go to white schools and are being educated correctly.
  3. Some Black children go to private school where they are learning advanced subjects and doing very well.

Having made those three points I will get back to my question.

Why are Black Schools failing?

There is no easy answer to this question. We must look back into America’s history to find a chain of links that correspond to today.

In the Northern United States in the 1800’s black children were educated along side of whites in the school houses. In the Southern United States black children were slaves and were denied an education.

After slavery many black people migrated North and West. They received an education in the new towns after being denied in the South. Black people who  did not migrate from the South made individual choices to be educated or not. Many chose not for the fear of their white counterparts punishing them for wanting to learn.

In the early 1900’s black people in the North and West were educated while black people  in the South still were not educated due to fear. The term, “Acting White” came into effect.

If a southern black person tried to educate himself or attend a school and ‘read good’ then he or she was acting white. The mentality was that only white people were to be educated. Black people were not. This mentality was a continuation of the early 1800’s when slaves were not allowed to learn. The former slaves who still existed in the early 1900’s discouraged their young black people from learning based on old fears and outdated truths.

Mid 1900’s. Northern and Western black people were educated. Southern black people were starting to get an education and learn believing a future awaited them if they ‘knew stuff’. The seed that was planted by the ex-slaves was still going strong. Many southern blacks felt education was for white people and discouraged others from wanting to learn or shaming them by saying they were “acting white”.

After the Civil Rights Era. Northern and Western black people were educated. Southern black people were becoming more educated and enrolling in colleges and learning skills and trades. Those who were successful and opening their own businesses were ridiculed or shamed by other black people for “acting white” or “talking white”. There were still uneducated black people by choice in the south.

Bring this up to 2017 and some black schools that are failing.

Add in the following:

Southern blacks still telling people they are acting white by making straight A’s or getting scholarships to college.

Great Grandchildren of the slaves whose family history still consists of the belief that if you are educated you are acting white.

Parents not educated themselves because they believe that being educated is acting white, therefore, they can’t help their kids.

Priorities of the parents shifting from the kids education to keeping up with the Jones’s with big houses, shiny cars, 9 inch nails, 38,000 bags of weave, and now many TV’s can I have mounted in one spot on the bathroom wall.

Not showing up to parent teacher conference because they have to watch Scandal and How to Get Away With Murder.

Expecting the teacher and the school to do all the educating while the parents sit and watch TV. Not getting involved.

Parental Involvement in Black Schools is Very Very Low

These are the real issues on why some black schools are failing. Parents need to get involved in their child’s education or seek a free tutoring service if they are unable to help. However, lack of parental involvement  is not what’s doing the most damage to the children.

Black people need to stop telling black children to stop “Acting White” This notion is failing the children

I hate the term “acting white” almost as much as I hate the term “African American”

I can’t stress this enough! I hear it every single day from one black people!

The stupid antiquated notion that their child is acting white if he/she is succeeding in school is not only unhealthy for the child but also robs him/her from reaching any full potential. That phrase “acting white” serves as a put down to the child who wants to succeed. It sends mixed messages. The child is being told to make good grades because your future depends on it and those around him/her are telling them if you make good grades you will be shunned or punished for “acting white”. That is so stupid! Yet this is what the children are hearing.

Therefore, they don’t live up to their potential.

The term “Acting White” is a big big problem in the black southern community. Its too common place and taken as part of not being black if you’re acting white. Its angering to anybody who has a brain.

That term needs to be addressed, stamped out, done away with, and a penalty added to the parent or parent of other children who enforce this backwards mess. It has no place in society and never did. It only serves as another means of black people holding back other black people with one simple stupid phrase.


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February 10, 2017 · 2:19 pm

Should the Police be blamed for shooting somebody because of bad parenting?

To be clear. I am not talking about someone who is 100% guilty or someone who is challenging the police with a gun or a weapon. I am not talking about mistaken identity, accidental discharge, or profiling.

I am talking about little Johnny whose had a problem since childhood and the parents did absolutely nothing to correct, curb, solve or resolve his behavior. This is aimed at parents who shift the blame on everybody except for themselves.

Today’s Short Story

Little Entitled Johnny Gets Shot

So Little Johnny, AKA boo boo from the hood, was born to parents who did not give a freckle about Johnny. Mama was more worried about getting her hair and nails ‘did’ than Johnny’s education. Pops was more worried about his bent car fender on his jalopy than the reports Johnny’s teacher was sending home.

Johnny’s list:

  1. Teacher tells Johnny’s parents that he’s out of control in the classroom. Parents yell at the teacher.
  2. Principal suspends Johnny for bullying, causing distractions in class and explicit language to the janitor. Parents yell at the Principal.
  3. School counselor states to Johnny’s parents that Johnny needs help mentally. Refers them to a certified counselor to get Johnny help. Parents cuss out the counselor.
  4. Johnny fails a grade and his peers move on without him. Parents cuss out the school.
  5. Johnny drops out of school and turns to a life of crime and gets shot. Parents cuss out the police and threaten to sue the city. They say he’s a good boy.

Whose fault is it that Johnny got shot?

How many missed opportunities did Johnny’s parents have over the last 15 or 16 years to correct or address the problem to ensure that Johnny would be a successful citizen?

I know this sounds harsh but the tears these mothers shed after the fact could have been avoided if they had paid attention before the fact.

Question: What about the parents or single mothers who have tried with their kids and just can’t get through to them no matter what they do? What if the mother has reached out to everybody she can think of and the child just insists on continuing to do the wrong thing?

Answer: Someone did ask these questions directly to me. I am not a professional nor do I claim to be. I have seen mothers in this situation. They have resorted to boot camp, having their child arrested, and in one case taking their child to DFCS as an attempt to show the child that if the behavior continues that you will not be in my house any longer. These tactics seemed to have worked on those kids. It gave the kids something to think about and made them re-evaluate consequences and actions.

Question: What about the single or widowed parent, mom or dad, who has to work three jobs and tries to balance work time with kid time and just can’t make it work. Should that parent be blamed for their child getting shot due to neglect?

Answer: There are 2 answers to this.

Bad Parenting

A woman I no longer associate with had a son and a daughter. She was a single parent. She worked three jobs to make ends meet. To make up for her not being able to spend time with her kids she worked the third job to give them things. She honestly thought that giving them things would take the place of her not being there. She never mentioned the father. She finally save up enough to take off from all three jobs to take the kids on a vacation. She found out that the daughter was prostituting because she felt she didn’t have enough things. The son was arrested for drug dealing. The money she saved up went to bailing her son out and court dates and counseling to find out what was wrong with the daughter. The kids finally said, “Mom we just wanted you. Not things.” She half way understood what they were saying but then shifted the blame on to the absent father. Stating that if he was there she wouldn’t have to work so hard. She went back to working her three jobs and the kids went back to what they were doing. The son got shot and daughter ended up with three kids. In this case the mother is to blame.


Good Parenting

A woman who is not to blame is the single mother who worked two full-time jobs and could not make any of the parent teacher meetings or her daughters school events. To counter act this the mother called the teacher twice a week and explained her situation. She and teacher met on her lunch or during the teachers planning hour so she could help her daughter pass all the courses. When her daughter was not doing sports she was catching the bus to the mother’s workplace and staying there until it was time to go home. When the mother could not attend the school events she had a relative attend in her place and take pictures or a video so the mother could watch it later and congratulate her child on a performance well done. Even though the mother was working two jobs she found a way to balance work and her daughter so that she spent enough quality time with her. He daughter never got ‘things’ she had her mother. The daughter turned out well and went to college with her mother’s support.

What is my point for posting this?

  1. The police cannot be blamed for bad parenting
  2. If people would raise their kids the police wouldn’t have to
  3. We should have a law to hold parents responsible for failed or bad parenting because other people’s brats affect us all
  4. Put the blame where it lies, squarely on the family that failed to raise someone properly
  5. This line no longer works, “My parents raised me like that so I’m raising my kids the same way” Just because your parents did it wrong doesn’t mean its right. If you see your child getting in trouble frequently then the strategy you are using obviously isn’t working.
  6. The police should have a right to start suing parents who fail to raise their kids and give law enforcement a hard time
  7. Schools should have a right to kick a kid out after three times of parents not listening or trying to improve or help their kid
  8. This line should never be accepted, “I didn’t know she was doing these things. Nobody ever told me.” That’s a big fat huge lie. The parents always know they just don’t want to deal with it. In cases where their child is hurting others the parent should go to jail and serve just as much time because it started with them.

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February 7, 2017 · 8:00 am